My year as an Uber driver
Back in October 2018 I left the startup I was working for as a Development Manager. I just needed a change. I went to another startup and things didn’t work out. Details don’t matter now. I left in January 2019.
I was curious about Uber at that time. I didn’t know how it worked, how much money I could make or anything. But I had some cash in the bank so I took a chance. I quickly realized that the money I was earning was nowhere near the money I was making in the IT world. I knew that I would need an IT job, and fast. I thought it would take me a couple of months. I took me 8 months.
So I drove and drove around Sydney. I used to wake up around 5 am, start driving, take a break around 9 or 10 am, then back on the road. And in the morning it used to be quiet most of the time. I might drive for 2 hours and have no customers at all. That was hard. That is when you get in your head.
Because I was depressed, and I knew it. I was visiting a psychiatrist. Anybody could see the symptoms: I was anxious, I was cranky all the time. I would jump at people. I would get angry for no reason. Everything was bad, and I just couldn’t see the light.
I attended interviews, submitted my resume but nothing came up. Then it was more Uber and of course more angriness and desperation.
I was born in a First World country (Spain) and in 2010 I moved to another First World country (Australia). I have an IT degree, which gave me a lot of opportunities. I always thought that I could move from a job to another whenever I wanted, make more money, have a new role, etc… And for 20 years it was exactly like that. Until it wasn’t. And I wasn’t ready for that.
Sometimes when I was driving around with no customers, I would get very angry, very desperate. I would be in my car, and I would just yell. Angrily, loudly. I felt sorry for myself. I didn’t want to be doing that. I felt like a total failure.
When you have responsibilities, when you need to provide for yourself and your family and you cannot do it, you feel like a failure. You feel terrible.
Now I will say something I have never shared with anybody before. I always looked at people who committed suicide and I never could figure it out. That people wanted to end their lives was beyond me. Our life is all we have.
But at that point, in those very low moments of my life, I got it. I understood it. I saw it. I never contemplated it, never got anywhere close to even think about it. But I saw why people do it. I saw that life can push you so hard that you cannot take it anymore. And you only see one answer to that. I feel that anybody can reach that position. Anybody.
When I finally got a job, I was let go in less than 2 months. Another startup, I should have learnt my lesson by now. But I didn’t. I remember leaving their office in the morning, coming home, telling my wife what just had happened and picking up my car keys. Back to Uber driving. The same day I was fired. I just needed the money.
This was just before Christmas, not the best time to look for a job, so I spent all the holidays looking how people enjoyed their holidays while I was driving and waiting for customers who were not coming (Uber gets really quiet in January)
Amazingly, and just before the epidemic started, I got an awesome role. And I am still working for them. I love the job, I am truly happy that I got it. Just at the right time. I consider myself very lucky, with all the people who have lost their jobs because of Covid.
Let me be clear: I am not blaming Uber for anything. My problem was that I didn’t have an IT job, and that was what I truly needed. Uber gave me the opportunity to make money when I had nothing else, and I will always be grateful for that.
Now I have a permanent IT role. My mental health is so much better. I have stability in my life. I consider myself lucky. But sometimes I think about what my life would be if I had continued as an Uber driver, and I shiver.
